Tackling back to school changes
Helping children transition smoothly during hectic times
New teachers, new classmates, maybe even a new school.
That’s right. It’s back to school time and thus a time for change!
Great Potential Press author and education specialist Dr. Joanne Foster offers tips to help kids step into the classroom on the right foot. Parents who recognize and appreciate the complexities of change and take time to reflect upon the reasons and potential consequences set the tone for good development opportunities.
- Knowledge is empowering. Take careful stock of the change and share the pertinent information. Or, teach children how to acquire their own knowledge about any potential risks or benefits.
- Reflection is a constructive process. Think about the possible implications of the change, particularly with respect to your child’s comfort level. Take into account feelings and flexibility.
- Support systems can lighten the load. Check out support services at school and within the community, including people involved in planning and implementing changes.
- Complexities can be simplified. Can the situation be altered to be more accommodating of your child’s individual needs? Do you see any adjustment problems that can be offset?
- The unexpected is inevitable. Unexpected factors and outside influences can affect a change process. Pay attention to these and encourage your child to do the same because deviations might offer new possibilities!
- Professional help is available. Seek professional advice if your child needs increased support or coping strategies. If she can’t sleep, won’t eat, loses interest in friends, this may indicate a need for assistance.
Read Joanne Foster‘s full article on this topic on The Creativity Post.
Joanne Foster holds a Master’s degree in Special Education and Adaptive Instruction and a Doctoral degree in Human Development and Applied Psychology. Her work in gifted education focuses on ways to encourage and support high-ability learners. Dr. Foster is author of the Great Potential Press books Not Now, Maybe Later: Helping Children Overcome Procrastination and co-author (with Dr. Dona Matthews) of Being Smart about Gifted Education.
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The conversation about giftedness, creativity, existential depression, mental illness, etc. began immediately when the August 11, 2014 news broke about the suicide of comedian and actor Robin Williams.
Great Potential Press and its founder Dr. James T. Webb have a calling to recognize, develop, and help the gifted children and adults who so often are told “you’ll be fine” because the assumption is that their gifts will provide a super-human resiliency that propels them from depression or any other disintegration.
The brightest, most creative individuals often suffer from depression, as did Robin Williams who died of an apparent suicide.
His intensity, sensitivity, and search for life meaning, characteristic of so many gifted people, permeated his life. This was evident in his movies and other productions, like Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting, that portrayed the social and emotional needs and conflicts of gifted and talented people who struggle in a search for idealism and excellence in a world of mediocrity that so often seems uncaring and that fails to understand zany creativity that helps us laugh at tragedy.
In his idealism, he was disillusioned many times, and he wrote about it candidly, including how he tried to use alcohol to numb himself from his pain.
There are many other bright and creative minds like Robin Williams who are facing similar struggles.
Can we help them find a better solution?
There is no reason any of us ever have to feel as if we are doing anything alone.
For more information, support, or books about the emotional and mental ups-and-downs of gifted children and adults:
Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted is a non-profit whose programs and resources include a list of mental health providers with gifted specialties, webinars, and an annual conference.
Gifted Children and Adults: Finding a Community is a Goodreads group open to parents, educators, counseling professionals, and anyone who’s seeking information. Discuss and share books and resources about gifted and giftedness.
Gifted Kids Aren’t Going to “Be Fine” is an article written about the topic of not recognizing the special needs of the gifted.
Searching for Meaning is a Linkedin group designed to talk about existential issues and depression
In honor of National Parenting Gifted Children Week from July 20-26, 2014, Dr. James T. Webb joins the dialogue about the challenges of parenting and the need to nurture, support, and guide gifted children and adults.
“Parenting a gifted child is like living in a theme park full of thrill rides. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you gasp. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you gaze in wonder and astonishment. Sometimes you’re frozen in your seat. Sometimes you’re proud. And sometimes the ride is so nerve-racking you can’t do anything but cry.”
Parents have described to me over the years how puzzled, lonely, and exasperated they are with their child’s intensity, sensitivity, quirkiness, and asynchronous development. However when they share their experiences with other parents, or even relatives, the reaction so often is, “Well, I wish I had your problems! Your child has everything going for him, and you have it easy!”
Our society operates on the basis of several myths:
- gifted children are just like other children, only just a bit brighter;
- gifted children don’t have any special needs;
- they will make it on their own;
- gifted children are easy to parent because they learn so quickly.
Truth is, the very things that make gifted children what they are also produce the behaviors that make them so challenging. Parents and teachers often find themselves criticizing gifted children with statements like:
“For someone so smart, you have no common sense at all!”
“Do you have to be so sensitive and intense about everything?”
“Why do you always have to question everything? Can’t you just do things because I say so?”
“Why do I have to cut the tags out of all of your shirts?”
In Guiding the Gifted Child, we call these “Killer Statements” because they kill communication, chip away at a child’s sense of self, and convey to the child that they would be better liked if they were just like other children.
Statements such as these, not surprisingly, lead to family issues such as power struggles, sibling rivalry, underachievement, perfectionism, and even depression.
Gifted children, though a very diverse group, show commonalities:
(1) They see things differently.
(2) They do things differently.
(3) They act, think, and feel with intensity.
(4) Their judgment lags behind their intellect.
These are some “Ups and Downs of Giftedness.”
For every characteristic that’s a strength for a gifted child, there’s a downside of potential problems associated with that strength.
The brighter the child, the more likely the child is to be asynchronous—not only in the lag of judgment behind intellect, but also that the span of abilities within the child is likely to be greater, so much so that it is not uncommon to find very bright children who also are learning disabled or twice-exceptional in some other way.
Parenting a gifted child is often is a very lonely experience. In fact, being a gifted adult is often a lonely experience. This is why finding others who can relate and empathize is so important.
Fortunately, there are many resources to find help, guidance, and support.
Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted is a non-profit whose programs and resources include the popular parent support groups and an annual conference.
National Association for Gifted Children advocates on behalf of the gifted to ensure quality education and keeps on top of the most current research and needs.